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No more machine guns play the guitar

I'll tell you a story about the life which consisted only of pain.
once lived a girl, she could laugh and be merry. But even with one, her smile disappeared completely out of this world, since her father had sexuellbelästigt them. It showed only a false smile, so she entered the world.
After many painful years with her father, drew from them, along with her mother. Time and again there was controversy that even the mother was afraid of her own daughter. After a time it had everything back into place until they moved again ... There the girls met a scene she charmed ... But inside, she suffers from her self-hatred of her body, including the leidetet she is in a wrong body.
All the years she suffered from her body by her mother and by the people they meant to love ... It landed in a hospital ... Tried their lives to get a grip ... But more and more afraid she described ...
She still fighting for their right to self-loathing to eliminate ... Their dream to realize a man to be!

Strangelove? This text
?
Maybe ....
Oh no idea what to say .... It's just so strange ...
* sfz *
Well ... That is just so my thoughts, etc. I again shot through the head ... Well ... but I'm just ... Hmm ~ û. < Joar~ ich denke schon die ganze Zeit nach... Wie ich einiges alles schaffen soll. Aber ich denke das wird schon alles schief gehen etc...
must sometimes finally finding the distance too much, which reminds me too much of the past ... Otherwise I'll never get away from it.
Well ... I'm like, once Sayonara ~
your ...
KYO

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Now he has to ... Finally

... only grow! It said yesterday a doctor in the clinic Potsdamer our shrimp. He also said that our knobs really lucky that he has handled it so super after all. Just the thing with the hole. Because the doctors were just operate against him.

Glad so that it is now really slow uphill.

And with luck, perhaps we can use it next Weeks can be laid in a closer hospital.

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improvement ...

For several days we now know that the said hole is closed to happiness. Now we can breathe knobs all alone and makes great, too. Today I was able to twist him the first time itself and thereafter to hold for a while in the arm. At last things are looking up.

The picture is unfortunately a bit dark because it was late and I was about to light no light.

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The thing with the hole

was on Monday made an ultrasound of the head and the heart of our buttons. It was a hole in the heart or in the vicinity of the heart found whereby blood is pumped into the lungs. This hole is probably normal for premature births, would be closed but actually of themselves.

This hole has closed, unfortunately, not with our knobs. This was discovered on Monday. On Tuesday was a cardiologist at the hospital with our buttons, the confirmed this again. Since the knobs is now getting a drug that should be helpful in closing the hole. This medication he should get 3 days and then if we're lucky, joins the hole. Should it close but not yet, then this hole should be closed surgically.

On Tuesday evening I left the hospital pretty soon, since my friend at work is urgently needed. Yesterday we have unfortunately not managed to go to Potsdam. Today we had out, however, because I must deliver at least every 2 days, the expressed breast milk.

The doctor said that the audible Nebengeräuch of the heart would become much quieter. Therefore, it is also assumed that hit the drugs and the hole closes. I myself also assume, because today I've seen Aaron for the first time without respiratory assistance. He has really breathed alone and They have not had such a stress, such as at the beginning. However, the drugs

have a small side effect: see knobs in total bloated. Got a really thick neck, almost as if he was semester or so. But once the drug is discontinued, should be the place again.

I hope very much that it finally goes uphill with him and he will fit quickly and we will soon be able to move into a closer hospital.

I hope you have the thing with the hole to some extent understood. As a layman can understand often difficult to adjust the words of a doctor or their explanation and that it can also be difficult to explain to others.

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Report

So, there is unfortunately or fortunately (as you want, you can see, is both) to report not much new.

The little one is so far stable and keeps brave. Only the self-breathing makes him very hard. So far, he could try it yourself and if he plays but could not or "forgotten", then jumped a machine for him. However, this was very much exhausted, so last night was extra a doctor to me, telling me that she now completely artificial respiration. He can first build up your forces and practice breathing at rest. And if he is so far at some point, he may also like to try again alone.

I also got the day before random grad entering his room, when an ultrasound was taken of his head. Everything okay!

Today I finally was able to throw even a real look at his head. Previously he was wearing a funny cap and there was his great hair covered.

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For the curious: Pictures of Sohnemann

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News

In the night of 5 to 6 October I have repeatedly plagued very strong contractions. The contractions inhibitors were effective any more. So it was decided yesterday early morning, daass you relocating me to a hospital in Potsdam, because you are there better equipped in the event that the boy really not up to the 34th want to wait Pregnant adhesion week. So it went so against 6 clock in the morning with blue light to Potsdam where I arrived an hour later.

During the day it went with the labor. As long as I could sit up from the contractions but I felt, that as my belly was hard, but nothing more. But when should we be CTG yes and then I not only felt the contractions, but really had pain, respiratory problems, and thus sometimes very tense.

After the first 10 minutes of CTG's evening was then taken to a doctor. This would most like to put my labor inhibitors to the highest level. As my heart rate already at 124 but this would have been good. Therefore we then decided to bring the little man.

I was so planned from the outset a caesarean section was immediately prepared everything for it. My friend was informed, was on his way to me was taken while the little one. For the werdenede Papa could not come in before the surgery and he came almost on time, as the boy was there and I made the OP already back out there.

And now what most interested in:

The little man's name is Aaron Lee is 42cm tall, weighs 1780g and has a head circumference of 30cm. He also has no birth defects or similar, but it probably already a lot of hair on his head. Yesterday's state of affairs was that he is healthy, is now in the incubator and gets some help in breathing. Which is understandable, since he is also the beginning of the 31st Week of pregnancy already see the light of day!

And as you can probably imagine, I'm also fine. Did everything well over and feel fit. Otherwise I could not tell you jajetzt already. ;)

I hope the little guy right now to be able to see the first real time and maybe I can for you, and of course do for me, a photo.

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Something very, very sweet ...

There's me now occurred to me that not only upload videos youtube.de, but especially at the beginning myvideo.de.

And I want to show something very sugary: Our daughter Alison May, precise diagnosis in the 21 SSW


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What's new?

So the contractions have set thanks to the comic we both tablets and the tablets so far this agreement has been very good.

I must now re move something in the room, the bed rest was relaxed. May take a shower today evening at last. However, I realize again that the contractions increase slowly. I developed an immunity over time against all the contractions inhibitors or if the are that his total labor inhibitors damn small it really that urgent?

was me today again bled and I had to give a urine sample. If the urine sample was determined that my urine has blood in it. Had earlier on the Gyn to renal ultrasound. Da da but nothing was found I was brought directly to the urology, where I was before nochein renal ultrasound. Since this has revealed nothing to me then decreased urine by catheter. Let's see if we can find something there and hope that no action was necessary, as this not so good for us both.