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xD Good night everybody ...



I can tell you one ...
can pack boxes are really annoying ... * Sfz *
Well ....
since Friday I am back home and stuff.
Say again .... in near Kiel -.-''
But hey

Joar am ausmüllen pack yesterday only on the cartons and ... And joar ... While I'm on time but not really. But wat is ... * yawn * morning goes from there back to HH and submit application on Monday, I can only hope that I will be accepted at the post> ~ < Hoffentlich klappt das...

And on 01/04/2011 I will possibly come to Kiel, where I have money in the account have ... And stay until the 09.02.2011 in Kiel ... Since last appointment with my therapist * Q *
Huhu what I'm looking forward to is my mother's first fire in the ass because the kicked me * haha * I am from a cookie to me. * Lach flash slide *
Joar ... I think at the moment after, to part with some people, because somehow, is apparently so much wrong ... and I've even durchgelese an old letter, but this has also lost its truth ... even the words have been lied ...
TZZ ... I was so sure ... So I am again a minor Persönlichtkeit * laugh * But that is no longer a problem. I am relieved when I'm so unimportant. Because then I can no more harm!

Sun ... all my friends I really love, these include: Sena, Reiga, Leda, Fuyu, Ruru, Aya, Kira, Sassi, & of course Gackto TOP * Q *
Jaja ... 'll even miss some genuine, but some will do better without me x'P

nya ....

Sayonara, your Kyo <3

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youth office and Psychiatrist

So, yesterday was so then the lady from social services to visit. I do not think they saw any problem with us. Anyway, they did not say anything on further visits. It has given me her card, only there so that I can say to them, should I need help.

Today I was now at the psychiatrist. We had a long conversation in which I told the lady that I have a problem, as it reflects and even something about the situation and so the story I, just everything was for her important and interesting.

I have now my next appointment in early February when I talk to the specialist physician, who decides if I need medication to help. Furthermore, we should turn to an ambulance cry because the little one always so much screaming and she wants to see if you can ask me for a mother-child treatment. I would like to see much because I think I can take both as children and then get shown, how can I cope with everyday life with two children in peace and without screaming and without having to be overwhelmed. It would also be the same after all maybe a little bit of relaxation for me / us.

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Screaming out your Soul

Konnichi wa.
Sou ~ ... I log back once again.
Today I am finally re-registered ... means for me, I find only the social welfare office here must be and so on. Then I can finally clarified with the children money and stuff. And if that's solved, I can start my build everything here and joar .... something to think then everything comes to me.
Then on 01/31/2011 I submit my application and then I just need really lucky, and then I have 'one probably' an education in the bag!

Hmm .... -OZ-the concert is in two days and I look forward to. On Friday I will go to Flint, boxes packed with Sena together, take my hamster before in Hamburg, then one can only hope that I soon get an apartment with Sena, which is really funny then.
Joar ...* yawn *
Some people have problems so I'm moving to Hamburg, but for me it's just a positive boost, and I then one probably get an education, sooooo good thing =) nya .. ~

Hm .. sometimes you have to bring sacrifices, but Well. I can not always pay attention to others and forget me.
Nevertheless, I love my friends really mega doll <3

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stepmother

I wonder what I am getting up at all yet. Only me again to spoil the mood to leave?
No, I get up just because Mumpelchen needs me. Because I love with all my heart and she would never let them down.

And would not stretch the length screamer my nerves with his time shouting for weeks so, one could almost love him already have. He is actually a very sweet. But this time I did not cry nerve. And as this cry day and night lasts for hours for that I hate him. What a loving child can not have her. How could they? If one tries to console it will be shouted at. If you try to rattle him, and so cheer up, you are shouted at. No matter what you do, you will be yelled at. And with something I do not come clear. Although he is only a baby and do not know what he's doing a bit of gratitude would show he won.

When Alisha but it went well. She never screamed. Always bitching only slightly when she was hungry, otherwise it has always been our sunshine and with only 3 months it has shown us: "Hey, if it lies here beside me, I can not sleep in peace Will my own room!."

And now we have it. Do not come with him clear. Can you say why! I am always very ambitious and wants to have everything perfect. Also my children. Only I will never in his . Reach Because he is a premature and will therefore need more of everything. So I do not come clear. I do not want a secondary school child, I do not want a child, what is fitting, I do not want a child, which may not get a degree, just because it takes longer for everything. I do not want a child, which may rest later on Hartz IV. And he is a premature baby is for me for all a damn good excuse. May sound crass, but that's really my worst imagination could happen to us. A child, what a fool the entire family simply.

He should now really start to see his hands to explore it. You can forget it. Will show him that he hands and has one that can hold things, then ... so what will probably happen? It will be yelled at.

If I'd only previously known it to happen, then I would never have a 2nd want to have a child. And I would still become pregnant, I would be rid of him.

I've always wanted a son. That was my dream to have a son. And just this dream he is doing a nightmare! He gives me my whole idea of cute little boys in cute little baggies, broken totally with NEM sweet Maddox haircut. He is determined times as a boy, who can never hear, where you have to say anything 10 times and then still not expanded. And that's what pisses me off now to mega.

And what I still owe him? Of course. An even smaller breasts than previously. Thank you. It was pretty embarrassing rumzurennen in a bikini before, but now it's even more embarrassing.

And because I'll never get it clear and it probably always will blame them, I think it's best if he moves out. He has clearly deserves someone who clearly comes with it and can accept it as it is, right? And not so fucking ne bad mother like me who does not fit his character in my stuff.

I hate that I hate him.

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Why must it be one made even more difficult? Date

I was in a VN-group in which I have been since the first 'm pregnant and I trust, inquired if there was also mothers who had no maternal feelings immediately and was hoping to be able to exchange ideas about something.

I'm pretty much alone here in the area. Besides my friend and my kids I have no one. So I thought I could confide them.

Today I received a letter. On Monday, a supervisor will come from social services. Someone has drawn attention to my problem. I only wanted to discuss with a doctor who had already told me to whom I can go. Front office, I'm young too much respect.

I am very disappointed and mega sour. I do not want Say it was someone from the group may also have been a blog reader. But can the group is obvious, since one at home and see my VZ my name, not here. I find something very obstructive and deceitful coward. Nevertheless, one would have to first talk to me. Now I can cancel my appointment because of the crap in the therapist, as my friend has privilege. He had just had his appointment at the time will come where the lady. But I would like to have there by my side. With him it's a long time and he needs the Medis going to return you to work properly. It starts at 1.2. a new job, since he may not immediately make you sick because he was not doing well. Therefore, it is important to him. In addition, the appointment was for him anyway, so I have to let him go first. I also have to cancel my appointment at the dentist. For me the wisdom teeth should be removed and Gusche swollen I can not talk to the lady.

Why do you do a thing like that? Hope that the "supermami" in my reports and I at least explain why they did it. 'm Really really pissed. Does make the whole thing more complicated only!

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get

Have an appointment now for 25.01. . Get Has occurred to us that my friend had accidentally got 2 classes, and yes we should cancel one yet. Since I'm me his 2nd give date lassen.Jetzt I'm curious what comes out of there and how it goes. But above all, whether I can take really true, because I am 24.01. the wisdom teeth are removed.

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sign of life xD

Konnichi wa.

Joar I'm fine so far, the Chisaii have survived and so. It was really cool
Reiga, Gakkun, Kira, meet Hana & Aya again.
This has been fun and so clean <3
Joar ....
Right now I'm at my best friend in HH.
did it well and I am now short time on his laptop x'D
Joar ...
I will go home on 1/28/2011, but to drive back on 01/30/2011 HH.
For I will start to pack things the GR in the small boxes. And then I will go and stay in HH.
Get me to create a web-stick and all.
Then I will probably have a job interview on 31.01.2011 * Q *
What I am looking forward hihi <3
Wish me luck dear ones <3
* grin *

Joar and then the start time in HH well, although I with Tosh still have no home, but still, I must get out of home, will anyway and kicked at the 1/2/2011 joar. My mother just .... x'D
Wat the hell, then I cashier money up their ... Well said rather my money, what's mine xP * * mahaha what I'm angry.
But if she wants me to have more ned, home paaah * * I shit on the WOMAN -.- '

Sayônaru, your Kyo.
Ps: I'll contact as soon as there is news <3
Oh yes: Reiga, Leda, Ruru, Fuyu, Totchi, Aya, Saso, TOP, Gakkun, Kira & Takuma?
HAB YOU SUPER MEGA DOLL LIEB thank you, that you exist!

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Delayed postpartum depression?

Since Aaron is with us at home, I am doing very poorly. I think now after I've talked with other mothers about the fact that I suffer from delayed postpartum depression .

I'm with pretty much everything just simply overwhelmed, I always feel left in the lurch and I am not to be supported in the budget and dealing with the children. It also happened already, that I cried because I felt helpless and poor. I've also been thinking about me harming. For example, I loved to shave my hair or my scratch with a mass in his arm. Or worse. Then I always thought I could have easily earned. 've Even thought about him giving away. But I always wanted to have a son. And what would happen to Alisha? If they were taken away from me?

Most get Aaron to feel my moods. I yell at him when he's back just from crying or he hires too stupid in my eyes to drink. I leave him lying in the bedroom and cry and go only to him, if he gets the bottle and must be wrapped.

I even made him already because of total panic. I lay on the couch had him lying on my lap. Something happens to me very rarely. Alisha had then just put on my stomach and also in a way that she sat on my arms and I could not move them. Suddenly Aaron his feet touched my arm. I was panicked. Almost as if I were a spider sitting on me. I asked Alisha to go off me so I can put down my thoughts, according to him, or can remove him from me. But Alison did not want to go down. I asked again and again. But without success. At one point I even asked her to tears. Begging for eternal then she got down from me. I put the kids under the arms and brought him into the bedroom. To where I did not not have to hear and see. And so it was made often when I return everything will be crying too much and I just can not stand.

What am I really bad for a mother?

Fortunately, I see my problem and I know that I need to seek medical attention. After all, I've always wanted a son and now that I have him, I treated him so bad.

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Sayonara ...



So today I go to HH.
Chisaii On Saturday, then meet again with my hot sandwiches x'D * laugh * Yes flash on Monday and I am with my best mate <3 Huhu was freue ich mich darauf.

Um yes ....
What am I saying.
If you want to reach me, I've been using my phone, all have my cell phone number can reach me there if something. But the info, I can not back each letter, for my money is tight on the phone.

I wish you all nice weeks they are without me. What is probably the best x'D
Since I realized that I was no longer to be counted. But because I know where I'm at the people * smile *

Sayonara ....
And have fun.
Who is on the Oz-concert in Hamburg, because I'm driving with Sena there xD * Q * * * freuz And my other sandwiches because I will also take x3 Looking forward, well ....

'm probably not later than 28.1.2011 at home again and then goes to pack cartons and one probably I'm lucky for the formation * Q * * *
freuz

Bye bye, your Kyo

love Have you all <3

Man writes itself, one probably I also have the chance to come on to my dear friend.
Let's see then ... Will not miss me x'D
Sayonara!

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"丂 ズ u レレ"



Konnichi wa.
So, after I deleted my old posts, it does appear to me a little better. I must admit that some people have really changed me gegnüber. I find really funny, but hey, it bothers me less x'D. Since I can
only clearly say: FUCK YOU!
I do not need hyped friends who do not even know the word, one man man, some people learn better than ever * laugh *

going since yesterday evening I felt better after I've twice inveigled Nightmare Before Christmas * Q * Boar, I love this film, which is so funny and so great songs sing x3
Yes, yes, life is given. I'm going to Hamburg, but according to the Chisaii TOP <3 meinen besten Kumpel den es gibt x'D Das wird lustig werden.
Joar, otherwise I think I have to say or not??
* drop * * thoughtfully *

Um .... * Drops * I would think of something but that is beside the point. Does not every Hans and Franz was on! Joar, what emotions say this is the moment really low tide ... * Drop * Because to me is the question: What is love anyway? * Drop * Slowly I do not know really what it is, but hey ... Life goes on * hehe * So, should I pack the dates and times cartons, even if I do not have any apartment Totchi, but hey, my mom wants me off the 02/01/2011
out have xDDDD * *

laughing Oh ....
Gomen ne have, for my deep -.-
Can any times (¯ ー ¯) 凸

Mata ne ~

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First Seminar with Jeff Espinous in Karlsruhe




Fighter Fitness with qualified sports teacher Sabrina Merseburg strength - endurance - Fitness Boxing & Kickboxing
incl

Tuesday 21:00 clock Kali Sikaran Basics: Beginner classes for everyone with qualified sports teacher Andreas Güttner

Tuesday and Thursday 18.00 clock








kali-rv.de

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Back from Danmark

So, I'm back home ....
Wow .... New Year's Eve was a disaster because I knew where ned with me .... Well ... So I went to Denmark to Todd, had fortunately received money from him, I would at least take the train to Flensburg, and he picked me up.
Joar ....
I was to ez in Denmark ... That's what happens when one is banned from home. I've got all your sms, could only restore ned, null aufn Money, shit phone. Joar .... I have realized that probably made a lot of worries, but Well. Somewhere, it may not matter to me, I always just good enough if one has anything good cry and be with me. For more
I'm useless just ned.
Joar ... Denmark It was okay, had no Internet, which also was good so ... had really no more buck to write with anyone etc ...

So then once something new to the year!
first I will in all respects by some away!
second I would not mind to be more flicker!
third Whether I answer or not, you can wait!
4th Search continues for apartments!
5th Get me better in my moods etc!
6th Once I live in HH, I will go to the UKE!
7th I will play for no one the posts aufn playing field!

Sayonara, your Kyo ~

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Kali Sikaran - Sikaran (old school)



aussergewönlichen a training evening to us by the Punong Guro Jeff visit Espinous on 12 October 2010 brings.

The founder of Kali Sikaran and co-founder of IKAEF has given the students of the Filipino martial arts insights into new techniques and concepts with the floor and from the Sikaran, the Philippine boxing.

On his trip from South to North, Jeff was also in Weingarten / Ravensburg over to Guro Andy Güttner and his training group in the new training facilities in Sontheimerweg 4, 88250 Weingarten to visit.



kali-rv.de

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First Kali training

with Punong Guro Jeff Espinous on 9 - 10 October 2010 in Vaterstetten - slideshow.