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2011 a good year 2011!

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advance: Happy New Year Happy Birthday to me ..

So I'm going to New Year's Eve expelled from home. And
joar ....
Wiehnacht was a shit ...
Hm .. Then again stress, with some people.
Nya, who cares ~
Hm ...
shit year ends and new starts well.
TZZ ....
Well ...
I say it again: HAPPY NEW YEAR

HAVE FUN AND SO.

HAB all the love that love me HAVE <3

Bye ...

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Haha ....
such a great BDAY
-.- Haha ... I laugh my scrap ....
I feel like crying to mute ... but whatever ...
* grml *
Fuck on my Bday ... can remain stolen ....
What can I say?
It pisses me .... The disappointment is sitting too deep eh ... But nya .... What the hell ... ~
Joar ... first B-day gifts ... a tea bag tea box -.- Where to sort in ... and sweet, so I will be fat ....
Nya, let's see what the day brings for me today as shit .... I now have the pleasure to have passed all ... * Sfz *
Shit happens .... I'm looking just artificially over the gifts from my Mum and Micha ... even if it is the ned but what I am Well ....

bye ....

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It awaits you on the 4th and 5 12. 2010, a full program of top speakers and the NBL is a good cause. All donations will benefit victims of violence

www.weisser-ring.de

those coming to Forchheim?


kali-rv.de

Shaving Andherpes Outbreaks

How are you? Finally

Aaron has settled in just fine.

He continues to grow, and keeps us pretty busy.

Especially in the evening. As soon as the lights go out and the TV is off, the noise is large. We get at least some rest, we are now accessible to the timer from the TV on, so that starting at some point by itself. Actually, I'm not sure, because that could be a very stupid habit in the small.

The bad thing about the whole thing is that we were totally spoiled by Alisha because she has slept almost from the beginning. She was also very quiet during the day and he complains a lot. We are currently still not as good so are clear, fast times irritated, then there must always assume the other parent again. Fortunately, this will set the time as well.

his first gastro-intestinal flu, he survived just fine. She has stopped 5 days and yet he has risen in the time 80g. Since its He birth of a general increase almost 2kg. In a current size of 52cm, he now weighs 3680g.

Alisha is the perfect big sister for him. It is in dealing with it very carefully. If he is somewhat uneasy times, and particularly here on the couch, then comes Alisha and stroking his hand or on his forehead. When she sees his pacifier, then she will give him the same. If he is haunted even then it's always the same with her all excited "Oh oh oh!" and sometimes it decreases the Spuktuch and wipes himself off the mouth. If I ask, then she brings me a diaper for him. Okay, sometimes she also brings her, but with the "Large" and "small" they must first learn anyway!

In any case, I am very proud to have our Mumpelchen that knobs so dear.

Oh, and sleep when Alisha goes, they would necessarily give Aaron a good-night kiss. So cute!

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Konnichi wa ~ ~ Sou

I sign here again * drop * Yes
as some say mentioned, I am writing to no one, neither in Msn, Mexx, etc. For some
0-8-15 conversations I have had enough, and I constantly listen to the suffering of others, my nerves too slow. There really are exceptions, I still help when they have problems.
But then based on reciprocity. At times, people have also helped me a lot, and I only give back to you.

the moment for me to feel quite well. Although some mood swings are ... And for days I am being called by a number of Dortmund oo, I know times ned * drop *
This is really scary, but I ran not go anyway, is my thing ned ranzugehen number to strangers ... Well .. That was the I think most boring x'D

Yes ~ today I have drawn, was very distracting ... Upload photographed Does it only and then off at Mexx, but a look if I feel like it at all x'D morning I meet with Yuuki and I can run as a cripple by her side xDDDD
SUPER ~ * laughing *
But the creative I already <3
Well ....
sing For now I like to distract me from evil everyday stories that tear down the me and get ready. But I keep your head up!



Sayonara, your Kyo

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Christmas party on 18/12/2010

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悲しみ と 絶望

Konnichi wa.
Sou ~ in exactly 13 days is Christmas ... is anyway not what I wish for Christmas, but I'm going away because ... It really is no matter where, can each remain stolen.
And in 12 days is my birthday ... I did not really feel like celebrating the fact that, for once, it only makes some fun anyway, as long as the friend of my mum keeps the door open.

Joar ... Right now, I think a lot about some people, whether it makes sense to still have contact with these, etc. For some people it really does not deserve to have my friendship.

The search for an apartment goes well, where I think even after all applications hinschicke, because there are much better than in Hamburg and such.
I know it will be hard, but this time I will pack it ... Incidentally even get appointment with the UKE, still looking for a therapist as neurologists, but I'll get a pinch, I can still help Totchi. But that is certainly far more ...
It was a mistake to open all my heart, because I notice it now more than just hurts ... But hey ... Stop the whining.
I will now no longer swallow my opinions down everyone gets Tough my opinion to the head of Control and who therefore do not get along, his own bad luck! Long enough I've kept my nose, but that's over!

The you give your love, you give the power to hurt you!

This set me buzzing for days by the Head.
And he also says that true.
I will not again, provide such an opportunity to approach my feelings.

Sayonara, your Kyo

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trailer for the DVD weapons training

goes with the school start the training again Kali Sikaran up's!
Beginners 6:00 p.m. to 19:15 h

Intermediate 19:30 to 21:00 h

Dojo: Sontheimerweg 4 (2nd floor), 88250 Weingarten




kali-rv.de

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a slide show from the 2010 NBL


A pleasant surprise was the Axel in our circle, his 18th could later celebration birthday in our new Traininhgsräumlichkeiten in Sontheimerweg 4, 88250 Weingarten.

kali-rv.de

This group is technically Drill kept simple and involves a simple block and counter-punches. Gradually, the clear Structures resolved and there is chaos.
kali-rv.de

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This is Live!

Yes ... where should I start for again?
Yesterday I met with my Yuuki, it was shit cold but it was worth it. We were with us on the Weihachtsmarkt, even if it was completely clean, we have delicious 'Lemumba Baileys' drunk, god of the damned was legga * Q * I love alcohol in hot drinks *-*
Then we went to the Hiroshima park and have some pictures taken, but could not continue shooting. Since my batteries for my cam really more than all of them, but I had bought my new one. Then we still had
Izumi, Nao & Luci taken, what's really been cool ... But has very encouraged, even if it was really extreme with the cold, and my feet are frozen off ... Still, it was cool to have then all four of us still drink a mulled wine, which has also warmed up.

the evening I was back home was quite frozen through, the only thing a good home, was I, by next year November, time had zubezahlen my debts, which was good ... defenitiv

Joar then terrible happened to me, my feet became numb, I go running to the bathroom and what happened to me, to wrinkle firm, which has said it loud 'cracking' ... And last night I can walk no more, which is very nice ... Does the doctor tomorrow so because I do not know what it is ...
home situation is powerful shit, as well as usual ...

Sayonara, your Kyo.

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In This Empty Room

Today is such a day, I could curse.
had to first buy I go into the snow, it is so beautiful to see these beautiful snow fall ... It relieves me so much ...
I love the winter, it is also the time in which I was born. And I love you not because of Christmas! No, because of the cold and snow?
This one does not see my pain, not my heart beat ... I see only the cold and know exactly how my heart feels now, when it is always stabbed by your words!

It is all like to throw up in the moment, I am trying really hard DIR do everything right! And try not to skip my mood on YOU ... and yet I am so punished? Thank you, real time!
Tjoa ...
I'm very bad mood, and makes me puke on themselves.
came today when my mom home, I had my first chocolate spread across in my room, then at some point Todd came to us, which made me very happy. Because this really looks like me at home all torments.
And he offered me, I can come to him to Denmark, when it is too much for me, which I appreciate very much.

And I thank my Riku that you have with me today written as constructive, it relieves me a lot and look away and let a few things that annoyed me.

Still ... Sayonara ...
your Kyo

Why Do My Eyes Hurt All The Time?

愛 は どこ に 行った か?

I saw you and you me. But our
Eyes did not meet.
I wanted you to run, but unfortunately I ran
through you.
I wept silently,
did not have true ...
still I imagine that you're
alive. But I am
disappointing in front of your grave.
dumb tears roll down my cheeks,
I'm afraid.
My body is shaking hard, the snow falls.
It is getting colder, I enjoy the cold,
yet you still looking for me ...
In my dreams home ...
only Why? Why
walked by me?
I love you!

Again this dream ... I slowly get scared. And yet white whom I do not think my dream with the person ... I get no sense of it ... * Gulp *
It makes me really scared, and I'm thinking all the time, who says the only dream ... And it's scary, I have a feeling this person I know well, but it is very far away from me.
And I dealt a blow every time ...
* sfz *

Well, now make of the situation.
is the moment I am not so good at times, I am very dissatisfied with myself and my body, I feel too fat, I can not see in the mirror. Trust me than just to look in the mirror to smooth my hair, but no more. I could scratch my whole body, it's just more disgusting.
Yes I know I have to be patient, I know. And I have also ... train ... but I'll keep going, even if my food will suffer, but even now I get hardly anything down ....
* sfz *

Well ... Sayonara, your Kyo.

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home

Having now on 1 was moved to November in a closer hospital, it was really only looking up. He has increased sharply in size and weight and is healthy. The only thing he has is a pelvic kidney, ie one of the two kidneys is not sitting do, but where it should be below. Is not a problem, you should it can only check regularly because it can happen that backs up the kidney.

Yesterday he was finally released from the hospital. He is now 49cm tall and weighs 2850g.

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A strange day .... The rise
was already painfully, had severe stomach cramps and everything ... Then I had to buy something I thought, all the time.
Continuously I have the IPod LIN - As If Forever is Exists ... This song is so beautiful ... And yet so sad ...

My stomach cramps were not better, so I had after shopping, put a hot water bottle and you put me on the belly ... Joar ...
worked the way I currently on my art book, which consists of sayings, poems and small drawings.
This is my distraction, if I feel bad etc. ..

I lay on the bed and worked on my art book, I thought after so long ... And yet for me to feel bad ...

Nevertheless, I thank you for the people who stand up to me and help me always, no matter what! I thank you all very much.

I think it's time was from me, for now.

Sayonara, your kyo.

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my self

Why do I even worried?
If you still get no response eh? Why do I

all still about? Why do I still live
?

I feel no sense in me more ...
Why I give myself the trouble to have broken anything?

I'm sorry that I have that shit in character, am a fucking asshole ... And that I exist at all.

is again this feeling in me, just to be a dead body that feels nothing. Again, only a blot on the world to be.
I have the need to give up ...
It hurts ... And yet I can hardly even feel, how much it hurts ....

I should everyone can live his life to write, do not interfere, or even nothing, if I'm worried. If you can not get something back.
This sense of being unusual, it hurts deep in my heart.

Nevertheless, I thank all the people who were to hold me / ...
Even though I should not be more ... Do not mourn for me, I'm not worth ...

Sayonara, your Kyo.

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No more machine guns play the guitar

I'll tell you a story about the life which consisted only of pain.
once lived a girl, she could laugh and be merry. But even with one, her smile disappeared completely out of this world, since her father had sexuellbelästigt them. It showed only a false smile, so she entered the world.
After many painful years with her father, drew from them, along with her mother. Time and again there was controversy that even the mother was afraid of her own daughter. After a time it had everything back into place until they moved again ... There the girls met a scene she charmed ... But inside, she suffers from her self-hatred of her body, including the leidetet she is in a wrong body.
All the years she suffered from her body by her mother and by the people they meant to love ... It landed in a hospital ... Tried their lives to get a grip ... But more and more afraid she described ...
She still fighting for their right to self-loathing to eliminate ... Their dream to realize a man to be!

Strangelove? This text
?
Maybe ....
Oh no idea what to say .... It's just so strange ...
* sfz *
Well ... That is just so my thoughts, etc. I again shot through the head ... Well ... but I'm just ... Hmm ~ û. < Joar~ ich denke schon die ganze Zeit nach... Wie ich einiges alles schaffen soll. Aber ich denke das wird schon alles schief gehen etc...
must sometimes finally finding the distance too much, which reminds me too much of the past ... Otherwise I'll never get away from it.
Well ... I'm like, once Sayonara ~
your ...
KYO

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Now he has to ... Finally

... only grow! It said yesterday a doctor in the clinic Potsdamer our shrimp. He also said that our knobs really lucky that he has handled it so super after all. Just the thing with the hole. Because the doctors were just operate against him.

Glad so that it is now really slow uphill.

And with luck, perhaps we can use it next Weeks can be laid in a closer hospital.

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improvement ...

For several days we now know that the said hole is closed to happiness. Now we can breathe knobs all alone and makes great, too. Today I was able to twist him the first time itself and thereafter to hold for a while in the arm. At last things are looking up.

The picture is unfortunately a bit dark because it was late and I was about to light no light.

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The thing with the hole

was on Monday made an ultrasound of the head and the heart of our buttons. It was a hole in the heart or in the vicinity of the heart found whereby blood is pumped into the lungs. This hole is probably normal for premature births, would be closed but actually of themselves.

This hole has closed, unfortunately, not with our knobs. This was discovered on Monday. On Tuesday was a cardiologist at the hospital with our buttons, the confirmed this again. Since the knobs is now getting a drug that should be helpful in closing the hole. This medication he should get 3 days and then if we're lucky, joins the hole. Should it close but not yet, then this hole should be closed surgically.

On Tuesday evening I left the hospital pretty soon, since my friend at work is urgently needed. Yesterday we have unfortunately not managed to go to Potsdam. Today we had out, however, because I must deliver at least every 2 days, the expressed breast milk.

The doctor said that the audible Nebengeräuch of the heart would become much quieter. Therefore, it is also assumed that hit the drugs and the hole closes. I myself also assume, because today I've seen Aaron for the first time without respiratory assistance. He has really breathed alone and They have not had such a stress, such as at the beginning. However, the drugs

have a small side effect: see knobs in total bloated. Got a really thick neck, almost as if he was semester or so. But once the drug is discontinued, should be the place again.

I hope very much that it finally goes uphill with him and he will fit quickly and we will soon be able to move into a closer hospital.

I hope you have the thing with the hole to some extent understood. As a layman can understand often difficult to adjust the words of a doctor or their explanation and that it can also be difficult to explain to others.

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Report

So, there is unfortunately or fortunately (as you want, you can see, is both) to report not much new.

The little one is so far stable and keeps brave. Only the self-breathing makes him very hard. So far, he could try it yourself and if he plays but could not or "forgotten", then jumped a machine for him. However, this was very much exhausted, so last night was extra a doctor to me, telling me that she now completely artificial respiration. He can first build up your forces and practice breathing at rest. And if he is so far at some point, he may also like to try again alone.

I also got the day before random grad entering his room, when an ultrasound was taken of his head. Everything okay!

Today I finally was able to throw even a real look at his head. Previously he was wearing a funny cap and there was his great hair covered.